Folken at the Fair!
by Anonymous Pyro
Summary: Folken, Dilandau, and the DS take a trip to the fair. Who says thoughts and ideas must be well formed to make a good story? Chapter six is here!
1. Fair!

*Note: I do not own Escaflowne…I wish I did though…

From the person who brought you 'Topsy Turvey!' and 'Dilandau passes a kidney stone!' comes a look at the fair that changed Folken's life…

Folken at the Fair!

Folken walked through the _Vione _in a rather dour mood. 'Things are just plain boring around here' he thought with a sigh. It had been quite sometime since he had received any orders from Dornkirk (Not that he really missed hearing from the old weirdo) but at least if he had heard from Dornkirk he would have had something to do. Folken looked in as he passed by the Dragon Slayers' training room. Dilandau was happily yelling at his Dragon Slayers who cringed at the sound of his voice. 'He must be making up for lost time' Folken thought for the silver haired boy had just recovered from a troubling medical problem. Folken watched as the albino slapped one of the Dragon Slayers with something akin to envy, 'At least he is not bored out of his mind' Folken thought but then he quickly suppressed the feeling 'It is, however, an easy feat to keep the weak minded entertained' he realized thanking his stars that he never would be as thick headed as Dilandau could be. 

Folken continued his walk and found himself to be near the _Vione's _mail room (Yes in my story the _Vione_ has a mail room). 'I suppose I should check my mail while I am here' Folken thought as he started to rummage through the bags of letters. He looked at the bag labeled Dilandau and decided it wouldn't hurt to see what kind of mail the pyro was receiving. He picked up a letter that sat on top that was labeled 'To Dilly-Sama', opened it, and began to read. He was surprised to find that it was a love letter, disgusted he dropped it and looked back in the bag for another letter. After finding that most of the letters were love letters from the same person he decided to give up 'there are a lot of sick people in the world' he thought with a shudder unable to imagine who in their right mind could like a freak like Dilandau.

Folken went back over to his bag and started to look through it. A brightly colored flyer caught his eye, it had a picture of a Ferris Wheel on it and proclaimed that a fair was to be held that very day. Folken had never been to a fair, but it looked interesting and Folken decided that it would be a fun way to relieve him of his boredom. As he walked back to his room a voice called out to him "Hey Folken! What are you doing?" Folken shuddered when he heard the voice of Dilandau. The last person he wanted to know about the fair was that boy he thought as he tried to hide the flyer. "What do you have there?" Dilandau asked curiously. "Oh this? Nothing that concerns you" Folken answered in a 'go away' voice.

Dilandau looked a little perturbed but then continued to ruin Folkens plan for a fun day by saying "Well I just wanted to tell you that Chesta heard that a fair is going on today and we are planning on going" It took all that Folken had to keep from groaning "Oh" he said finally "I will join you then" he finished as he walked off "You should be more appreciative that I tell you these things!" Dilandau called after him in an angry voice. Folken sighed as he entered his room, His plans for an enjoyable afternoon at the fair had just blown out the window.

Well that is it for the first chapter, things will get better when they arrive at the fair (I promise). If you actually want to know what happens at the fair, please send me some reviews. Also don't take me the wrong way, I love Dilly-Sama, I just like to tease him in my fics.


	2. I spy...

Muahahahahaha! I am back with another pointless chapter! Before I get started, my sister insists that I inform you that most of (yes I said MOST of) the "I Spy" stuff was her idea. There now she is happy and we can start…Enjoy the fic!

Folken at the Fair!

About an hour later, the Dragon Slayers and a now depressed Strategeo were loaded into a van and on their way to the fair. *Why a van you ask? (1) This is my fic and I say so!, (2) Vans are traditional fair vehicles, and (3) Where would the _Vione _park?* Folken was at the wheel trying to stay in his "happy place", Dilandau was daydreaming about the things that he would burn at the fair, and the other Dragon Slayers were playing a rousing game of "I Spy". "I spy with my little eye something….umm….RED!" Chesta said with a giggle "Ohh!! Oh!!! I know!!, Dilandau's eyes!!" Dalet yelled sure that he had guessed correctly "No.." Chesta said "I know!! Lord Dilandau's armor!!" Gatti announced "You got it!" Chesta exclaimed happily. 

Folken, who was growing tired of every Slayer picking the color red then yelling out all of Dilandau's clothes and accessories, volunteered to state the next clue. "I spy with my eye…" the Strategeo began "LITTLE eye" yelled the Dragon Slayers. Folken sighed "…with my little eye…something indigo" "Huh?" the Dragon Slayers asked thoroughly confused "Inde-what?" Folken sighed again at the Slayers' incompetence 'But then, Dilandau is their leader…' Folken thought to himself noticing that Dilandau was equally confused, "something blue" he said making it simple for the Slayers. "Oh!! I am blue!!" Chesta yelled "No.." Folken said. "How about me? I am blue! Am I it?" "No because neither of you are blue" Folken said wondering if the Slayers were even talking about their armor when they said they were blue. 

"Fire…" Dilandau mumbled dreamily "Was that a guess? Or just one of your little fantasies?" Folken asked "Huh? Ohh, No, I mean the van? The van is blue…grrr stupid Van" "Yes that is it, the van, the van is blue" Folken said glad that the game was over "ohh…" Viole sighed "Hey! Who is up for a game of license plates?" the other Slayers cheered and went about their game. Folken shook his head wondering just where things had gone wrong when he saw a large Ferris Wheel in the distance. Seeing the large ride brought a rare smile to Folken's face 'Maybe things will turn out right' He thought, hoping for the best. That was, of course, before he saw the line leading into the fairgrounds parking lot 'Then again…' 

About two hours later Folken and the Dragon Slayers were at the entrance to the fair. "What the hell was that?" Dilandau said angrily as he slapped Chesta (he was less than pleased at being stuck in parking lot traffic for the last few hours). Folken was standing to the side trying to keep his temper in check, Dilandau had threatened his ability to cope with unwelcome situations more times in the last few hours than he wanted to remember, but once again his "happy place" had saved him. Letting out yet another sigh, Folken rounded up the Dragon Slayers and prepared to enter the fair.

Upon entering the actual fairgrounds, Folken was bombarded with the Dragon Slayers' many questions, statements, and demands. "Ohh! I want to ride that!" Miguel announced "Where is the bathroom?" Chesta asked "I want something to drink" Dalet whined "Wow! Petting zoo! Sheep!" Guimel exclaimed. All the Slayers had something to say and a lesser man would have been overwhelmed…But not Folken, for he had a plan. "Silence!" he yelled and all the Dragon Slayers (as well as a few passerby) shut their mouths and looked his way.

Assured that he had their attention, Folken reached into his cloak and pulled out several rolls of tickets. Quickly, giving a roll to each of the Slayers, he stated "Thirty tickets each, they are good for refreshments, rides, etc. We meet here at closing time" and with that, Folken turned and stalked away from the Dragon Slayers who, after gaping at each other for a few moments, dispersed to do what they pleased. Folken, glad that his plan had been a success, strode away feeing as though a great weight had been lifted from him. Just as he was starting to relax a familiar voice caused him to tense yet again. "Very clever Folken, but I am sticking with you" Folken turned to see Dilandau smirking at him, slowly Folken spoke "Dilandau, why don't you do something on your own. Now is your chance to get away from me" he stated.

Dilandau, the smirk never leaving his face, walked up to Folken and said "No, I think I would rather follow you…for once" Folken couldn't hide the look of dismay on his face 'Why do the gods punish me?' he thought as he started to walk away only to have the Dragon Slayer follow him. *Now you may be thinking 'Folken stuck at the fair with Dilandau? It's the end for him…' But then you would be forgetting that Folken is a mighty Strategeo, that and the fact that he has had two hours to think of way of getting rid of the Pesky Dragon Slayers, especially Dilandau* Folken smiled as he led the unsuspecting Dilandau towards what would soon be his doom…The House of Mirrors.

I know this chapter turned out to be more stupid than funny…But I am biding my time before unleashing the terror that is The House of Mirrors. Send some reviews, eventually there will be close encounters with carnies, rigged fair games, the heroes (Van, Hitomi, etc.) and much more!

*Note: I do not own Escaflowne…I pretend that I do but everyone knows it is just BS… 


	3. HoM

Bwahahahaha!! I finally got around to typing this chapter! Folken and Dilandau are about to enter the "House of Mirrors" *shudder* I must tell you all now, I have been to this particular "House of Mirrors" It's not your usual two bit HoM, this was a HoM so large, attendants had to be sent through every so often to pick up stragglers. *shudder* the youngest age allowed in is 13, this HoM was a death trap…I should know…But with my horrific childhood memories aside, lets get on with the fic. Enjoy! (Oh and thanks again Harmony for allowing me to be in your fic!)

Folken at the Fair! 

Dilandau was enjoying pestering Folken. He could tell he was putting serious ware on the Stratego's nerves and was determined to break through Folken's defenses. "So Folken," Dilandau began pondering yet another bothersome question for Folken "Exactly how old are you?" Folken sighed, just when he thought Dilandau had run out of childish questions or perhaps grown tired of his game, it started again. "I do not see how that is any of your business" Folken answered wearily "That's what you say to all of my questions Stratego, at first anyway, but in the end I always get my answer" Dilandau said with a cocky grin. The only thing that kept Folken from forcefully removing the grin from Dilandau's face was the fact that they had arrived at their destination, The House of Mirrors.

*Author's Note: Here is a quick layout of this particular HoM. There is one door leading in that one person is let in at a time with five minute intervals between each person. You can't see anything else from the front, but there are stairs leading up to an area where you can look down through two way mirror at the hapless people as they wander aimlessly through a giant maze of mirrors. The interior is rather dark (like you need to be any more confused) There are two possible exits to the maze. Basically you wander and try not to despair every time you run into a mirror. *shudder* Anyways, back to the fic!

"Here we are" Folken announced as he got in line. "Hmph, doesn't look so big to me Stratego" Dilandau announced (Fortunately for Folken, Dilandau had forgotten about his game of annoying questions) Folken could only smile as the line slowly progressed. Folken was first to enter the "ride", he could hear Dilandau complaining about how he would have to wait five minutes before following the Stratego. 'Well, I can't say it has been nice knowing you Dilandau, but it will be such a relief to be rid of you' Folken thought as he quickly made his way through the twists and turns of the HoM. How does Folken know where he is going you ask? He happened to have a handy gadget that produced something akin to a bats sonar, allowing him to find his way through the HoM quickly and efficiently. Folken, as usual, knew what he was doing. 

Folken made his way of the HoM and walked back around to the front, happy to see that Dilandau had entered the HoM. The ride attendant in front couldn't believe her eyes, 'That is the guy that just entered the ride a few minutes ago, no it can't be…but how many guys where an outfit like that?' She thought thoroughly confused. Folken headed straight towards the stairs that led to the top of the ride, eager to get a view of the action. "That's it Dilandau, run!" said a girl who was looking over the scaffolding's rail. Folken thought that she looked familiar but didn't dwell on the thought as he looked over the rail. He spotted the boy and almost lost his composure when Dilandau ran into one of the mirrors and took a step back, looking a little dazed, before shaking his fist and moving on. 'He doesn't look to happy' Folken thought with a chuckle as the boy groped around blindly. The sound of Folken laughing caused the girl to look towards him. A smile of sheer joy spread across her face. "Folkie!!" the fan girl yelled as she ran towards the Stratego. Folken had enough time to get a good look at the oncoming girl before she glomped him "Charlotte?" 

To say that Dilandau wasn't enjoying himself would be an understatement. He was at the moment seething. "Ow! Damn it!!" He yelled as he ran into yet another mirror "If I run into one more mirror I'll…Ow!!" Once again he found himself pulling away from a large wall of glass. 'grr, Folken you will pay for this' Dilandau growled before calling out "Where are you Stratego?" receiving no answer Dilandau had no choice but to move on. Coming to another dead end Dilandau had reached the end of his rope. "Is anyone here?" he cried as he strained to hear an answer. None came. 'It's almost like I am the only one here…heh…like I'm…alone…' the albino thought to himself as he began to backtrack. The oh-so-wily mirrors got the best of Dilandau once again and he sank to the ground. "Where are you? Chesta? Gatti?" Dilandau muttered looking around, he looked up suddenly "Jajuka? JAJUKA!!!"

Somewhere in the fair two girls walked, suddenly the taller of the two stopped. "What's wrong? Is this about the lack of a decent fish scooping game again?" the shorter girl inquired. "No, I thought I heard…Dilly" the tall girl said looking around "Baka! That's what you always say!" the short girl said exasperated "Everywhere we go Diva, It's Dilly this Dilly that! Come on!" she yelled as she grabbed Diva's shirt collar "But…but…Omi! This time I am sure!!" "You say that every time" Omi growled as she continued to pull Diva behind her.

Well that's all, Not great but I hope not too bad either. Now that we have all the players where I want them I can move on with the story. Next time: Will Folken survive his encounter with Charlotte? Will Dilandau escape the HoM? Will Omi humor Diva and let her search for Dilandau? Maybe!! Until next time. Oh and kids, if you take the time to read this nonsense, take the time to review.

*Note: I do not own Escaflowne…and I don't think owning a bunch of SD key chains of Esca characters count as owning the cast of Escaflowne. 


	4. Four

Another few weeks another chapter…Yes I finally got around to typing this up. I would like to thank all who reviewed and I would like to thank Harmony once again for use of Charlotte. Will Folkens dream of an enjoyable time at the Fair ever come true? Not this chapter!!

Folken at the Fair!

"Folkie! I just can't believe my luck running into you here!" Charlotte exclaimed as she continued to hold Folken in a bone crushing glomp. "Yes…what a surprise…" Folken trailed off, once again having his personal space encroached upon. Gently pushing the fan girl away, Folken hoped to distract Char long enough to escape. "Well, it looks like Dilandau will be in there for awhile" He began, redirecting Chars attention. Char laughed as she saw Dilandau below, bumping into mirrors like a confused lab rat. "I'll never get tired of that" she said as she latched on to Folkens arm, not giving him enough time to escape. 

Folken sighed but figured that spending his day with Charlotte would top spending his day with Dilandau, so he decided to make the best of it. Gazing over the fair grounds from his perch at the HoM, Folken noticed several stands that were selling your typical fair food. "Look Charlotte, Funnel Cakes, would you like me to get one for us?" Folken asked, as gentlemanly as ever, as he pointed at the stand. Char couldn't believe her luck "Wow! You want to buy me one! You're so sweet Folkie" Folken was glad their was no one else on near them for Char was now hugging his again "Good, I'll go get one then" The fan girl reluctantly let go of Folkens arm, allowing him to make his way to the stand. 

After spending an unhealthy amount of time in line, Folken picked up his treat and proceeded to make his way back to Charlotte. 'I only hope Dilandau hasn't found his way out yet' Folken thought not wanting to miss the fun. He sped up only to stop dead in his tracks when he spotted the large wheelchair/life-support system that was blocking his way. "Folken" mumbled the exceedingly depressing voice of Dornkirk. Several innocent bystanders, who had the misfortune of hearing the emperor speak, collapsed on the spot from sheer boredom. "Emperor Dornkirk, What are you doing here?" Folken asked realizing that the day he had recently salvaged was about to be shot down again. 

"Folken, I have detected the Drrrraaaa…" Dornkirk began. Folken yawned and waited for the emperor to finish his long winded pronunciation. "ggggooooonnnnn here and I want you to capture it" Dorny finished with a mutter. "Sir, Isn't that the job of the Dragon Slayers?" Folken inquired, hoping to shift the problem to someone else. "I want you to handle it personally this time" Dornkirk returned "Sir, I have someone waiting for me, can I deliver this treat to her first?" Folken asked hopefully "No" Dornkirk said flatly "But I'll take it off your hands" with that a metallic claw reached out from Dornkirks wheelchair/L-S system and took the funnel cake from Folken. "Capture the Dragon" Dornkirk said again then rolled away leaving a shocked and disappointed Stratego behind. 

Somewhere in the fairgrounds, Omi and Diva continued their quest for a fish scooping game. "Dang it! I want to take home a goldfish and I darn well will!!!" Omi grumbled as she stalked through the 'game' section of the fair. Diva searched the crowd, looking for some sigh of her beloved pyro…or a giant plush Ryo-Ohki doll, whatever. Suddenly the fan girl stopped "What is it this time? OMG! Did you find a Ryo-Ohki doll?!" Omi asked excitedly looking around "No…I can feel his pain!!" With that Diva took off at a run in search of Dilandau. "Well," Omi sighed looking up at the heavens "Where there is Dilandau…there is CHESTA-CHAN!!!" She squealed as she chased after her friend.

Charlotte sighed "Just where is Folkie anyway? He has been gone for far too long". She turned to leave, taking one last look at Dilandau, who now lay sprawled on the floor of the HoM, before taking off in search of Folken. Coming down the steps from the top of the HoM, Charlotte spotted a familiar face in the crowd. "Dornkirk?!" she said aloud as he rolled by. Char then noticed what Dorny had in his hands 'Funnel Cake!?' she wondered and it hit her 'The only thing that would dare to interfere with me and Folkie is _him_' Char thought as she ran over to him, blocking his path. 

Dornkirk looked down at the girl in front of him and went pale "Is that the cake my _Folkie _got for _me_?" Char asked angrily. "Um…well, He had a job to do so I thought I would take it off of his hands…" Dornkirk muttered weakly. "That's not good enough Dorny…You ruined my day with Folkie, You're not getting off easy" Char began as she produced a large mallet out of hammerspace. "Be reasonable…" Dornkirk whimpered as Charlotte closed in on him….

Dilandau was led out of the HoM by one of the rides attendants some time later. "Fucking maze…I ought to go get my Alseides and _burn_ it…" He thought, wondering just how he would get back to the _Vione_. 'I could always send one of my Dragon Slayers' Dilandau continued, deep in thought, as he walked. Eventually he discarded the idea and looked up to find himself surrounded by game stalls. He heard a familiar voice and turned to its source "Van!" Dilandau yelled. 

Van looked up to see his rival standing to the side. "Dilandau…" He muttered. He, Hitomi, and Merle had been enjoying themselves at the fair (unlike our Zaibach affiliates it seems…)but somehow Van knew it had been to good to be true. "Hitomi! Merle! Get behind me!" Van shouted as Dilandau approached them. "What a surprise Van, now I can have some real fun" Dilandau laughed as he stalked ever closer "Sure, like that time he cut your face" Hitomi muttered. "I heard that!" Dilandau shouted angrily as he reached for his sword. Van also reached for his sword, ready for battle. 

During their haste for bloodshed, both of the boys had forgotten that they didn't have their swords on them. Van recalled an earlier conversation with Hitomi: _"Oh Van, what do you need a sword for? It's not like you are going to battle, anyways it would make people nervous. What? Do you think you are going to run in to Dilandau and get into a life or death battle with him? Tee Hee" _ Van gave Hitomi a pointed look and she blushed "Well how was I supposed to know?" Hitomi mumbled "Not like I'm psychic or anything…Wait scratch that" 

Dilandau was having a similar flashback of a talk he and Folken had had earlier: _"Dilandau, I don't want you carrying a sword, flamethrower, or any other weapon to the fair, It would be unnecessary and you would become a danger to yourself and others…Besides It's not like you are going to run into Van and get into a life or death battle with him…" _ "Damn Folken…" Dilandau murmured.

That's it for chapter four! I hope you enjoyed it. Next Time: Will Dilandau and Van duke it out? Or will they find a more entertaining way of settling their differences, Will Char and Folken ever be reunited? And what of our other fan girls? I hope to answer these questions and more later! Please review dear readers, eventually our Esca crew will meet up with rides more dangerous and horrifying than the HoM…Yes I speak of *Dun Dun Dun* The Tunnel of Love…Until Next Time!

*Note: I do not own Escaflowne or any of the characters therein, I also do not own Charlotte, she is on loan from Harmony, and Omi is my associates own creation. But Diva? She's all mine baby…. 


	5. Cat fight!

Thanks for the reviews! Long chapter so be prepared. When we last left off, our favorite pyro was about to face off against the boy king of Fanelia, but of course, a they had a few…problems…

Folken at the Fair!

Dilandau and Van stared at each other in silence. "It seems we have a problem" Van stated. "That won't stop me from killing you Vaaaaaaaannnnn" Dilandau said with a smirk. "Gross!" Merle yelled as the hair on her back stood on end "Do you have to drag out Lord Van's name like that! It sounds disgusting!" the cat girl yelled at a shocked Dilandau. "Shut up! You dare speak to Dilandau Albatou in this fashion!" he yelled back at her. "But It really _does_ sound bad, like you are in love with him or really want him or something" Hitomi added. Both Dilandau and Van gaped at the psychic "What?" Hitomi asked "It does…" she finished quietly. Dilandau shook off the feeling and charged Van "I'll kill you!" he yelled "You'll pay for Fanelia!" Van yelled and ran towards Dilandau.

The two ran into each other with all the force of the titans, and thus, were both thrown to the ground. Standing up and dusting himself off Dilandau yelled "We'll finish this _my_ way!" and with that Dilandau stepped up to Van and gave him a hard slap on the face. "Ooooohh!" Hitomi and Merle said as Van reeled form the blow. Recovering, Van walked up to the smirking Dilandau and gave him a slap in return. "Ouch" the girls muttered. Dilandau stood in shock for a moment before screaming and launching himself at Van. Thus began the largest bi***-slap fight in the history of "The Fair". Each boy slapped for all he was worth, their hands become a blur, a la Dragonball Z. 

After about five minutes Hitomi had seen enough, "Alright you two, you look like women, can't you settle this some other way?" she said with a sigh. The boys stopped, rubbing their reddened cheeks, and looked at Hitomi. "What do you propose girl?" Dilandau asked. "Well…ummm" Hitomi began "GAME FIGHT!!!" Merle called out. The boys realizing there were millions of fair games play, pulled out their rolls of tickets and started off down the row of stalls. 

Stopping at the first one, the dreaded "Fill the Balloon up with a Water Gun" game, Our heroes handed in their tickets and chose their weapons. "Yay! Lord Van!" cried Merle as the group waited for the starting buzzer. The buzz sounded and the boys pulled their triggers. Van's balloon was filling fast, until Dilandau turned the water gun on him and squirted him in the eye. "Ahh!" Van yelled his aim thrown off. Dilandau laughed and filled his balloon first. "You cheated!!" Hitomi yelled as she comforted Van. "What did you think? I would play fair?" Dilandau laughed. "Next game" Van said with a growl as he moved on.

Folken was lost in a midst of carnies and games. "Try your luck sir?" cried out yet another one of the disturbing carnies "No thank you" Folken said struggling not to make eye contact. He was sure that several of the carnies were Maudoshi in disguise, this was confirmed as several of them knew his name or turned away when he came near. Letting out a sigh, he continued his search for his brother, the Dragon. 'Why today of all days do I get sent on this mission' thought our depressed Stratego. A child's voice broke through his thoughts "Hey mister, where did you get your face painted at?" Folken had no idea what the child was talking about, then he remembered his tattoo. "This? It is a tattoo" He stated as he walked away from the boy. 'That is the third person to ask me that…' he thought slightly perturbed, as he continued his search. 'I wonder if Charlotte is still waiting for me?'

The fan girl in question was just stepping away from the metallic pulp that we can only assume is all that is left of Dornkirk. "That's better" Char stated, happy to have relieved some of her frustration. "Now, off to find Folkie". Charlotte's search began at the animal show ring. She walked into the small tent holding a wide assortment of farm animals. Looking around she spotted and awfully tall sheep, then realized it was Guimel. "Hey!" she called out and the sheepish Slayer turned towards her. "Do I know you?" he asked slowly. "Maybe, have you seen Folken?" Char asked hurriedly. Guimel, not wanting to be bothered as he communed with his sheep 'brothers' answered "No" and turned away. 

Charlotte resisted the urge to give the Slayer a good whack with her hammer, and left to continue her search for Folken. Not far away, Chesta and Gatti stood wondering why they and the other Slayers had such little screen time or fic time for that matter. "My theory is that we are nothing more than extras and will always be overshadowed by the likes of Lord Dilandau and Van Fanel" Gatti said bluntly as he took another drink of his lemonade. "That can't be true Gatti! If we aren't important, why do we have so many fans?" Chesta said optimistically as he took a bite of his hot dog. "But think about it, that Balgus guy had more lines then we did…" Gatti began but was cut off by Charlotte who had joined the two "Have you seen Folken" she panted. The Slayers looked her up and down before Chesta answered "Yes, we saw him by the games" "Thanks!" Char yelled as she ran towards her loves location.

Exhausted from their earlier escapades, Dilandau and Van turned to stare at each other. Each game they had played had either ended in a tie or ended up with one boy turning on the other. "It seems there is only one way to settle this Van" Dilandau said finally "I agree" Van stated without breaking eye contact. A moment of silence passed as Hitomi and Merle looked on with worried eyes. "BUMPER CAR BATTLE!!!" both boys yelled in unison as they turned and ran towards their chosen battlefield, leaving Hitomi and Merle behind.

Upon reaching the bumper cars, Dilandau and Van were dismayed to find a long line awaited them. Van ran to get in line but a quick flash of Dilandau's flamethrower (which he had forgotten had been hidden in hammerspace for his convenience) was their ticket to the front of the line. The boys ran into the enclosed circle of track and chose the car of their choice. Dilandau, naturally, chose a red car while Van chose a blue and white one. Both cars were conveniently facing each other and were at opposite ends of the circle. "Start the power!" Dilandau bellowed with a gleeful laugh. After a moment, he turned to see that the rides operator had left. "Oh fuck it" Dilandau said angrily as he removed his hands from the wheel. 

By this time, Hitomi and Merle had reached the ride and were watching the "action". Van had an idea "Hitomi, start the power" "Oh Van, are you sure?" the short haired girl asked. A nod from Van prompted her to start the ride up. As the cars hummed to life, Merle took it upon herself to signal the start of the decisive battle. "Reeeaaaadddyyyyy…..GO!" the cat girl yelled and both boys rammed their feet down on the pedals.

Now it is a well known fact that at least one of the cars at any given bumper car ride is defective. Unfortunately for Van his car was that one. While Dilandau's car shot forward, Van's sat where it was. The king of Fanelia could do nothing more that watch as Dilandau barreled towards him with a maniacal laugh. The impact of the cars sent Van's flying into the wall with a crash. Dilandau laughed as Hitomi ran to Vans still form. "Van? Van!" she called as she and Merle pulled him out of the car. "He's knocked out I think" Merle said with a relieved sigh after feeling Van's pulse. 

Dilandau had climbed out of his car and was giggling as he walked up to them and said "Looks like I win Van". Hitomi snapped "That's IT!" she screamed as she stood up and turned towards Dilandau. "This is all your fault" she said before balling her fist and punching Dilandau in the face. The startled bishonen took a step back "Looks like that wiped the smile off your face" Hitomi yelled.

A short ways away, our other fan girls stood. Diva suddenly grabbed her chest as if in pain "What is it now?" Omi asked "D…d….d…DILLY!!!" Diva shouted and ran off in the direction of the bumper cars. "When I get her this time…." Omi raved as she followed her partner in crime.

"My face!" Dilandau began but was cut off by Hitomi "We have heard it before! Why don't you shut up and take it like a man!" Hitomi stated balling her fists again, preparing to deal another blow. As she moved in on the shocked Dilandau, she was grabbed from the side by someone. "Who are you?" Hitomi asked, pulling away from her assailant. "I am Lord Queen Diva!" answered the girl defiantly "You will pay for daring to touch my Dilandau!, No one hurts him but ME!" Diva growled, holding her hands like claws. Hitomi gave a wild cry and the girls began a monumental catfight.

At that moment Folken spotted the group. Not knowing (and frankly not wanting to know) what was going on, the Stratego walked by trying to look as inconspicuous as a man in a large black cloak can. His caution didn't help for he was still very conspicuous and was soon spotted by none other that Charlotte. "Folkie!" she yelled and rushed towards him. "Now we can go on the ride I spotted back there" Char said with a devilish grin. "And what ride would that be" Folken asked, almost afraid to know. "The Tunnel of Love!" Char laughed. 

The fan girls have finally been reunited with their bishonen. Will Char drag Folken to the dreaded ride? Who will be victorious in the Diva/Hitomi catfight? Next time we will find the answer to these questions and more! Reviews! I need reviews! They are just so much fun to read, so be good and take a few minutes to leave me one. Until Next Time!

*Note: I do not own Escaflowne or any of the characters therein…I tried to kidnap Dilly once, but I was stopped by some well meaning 'friends' 


	6. ToL

Chapter six. Our fan girls have found their bishonen, Diva started a cat fight with Hitomi, Char was off to the ToL with Folken. What will happen this time? Looking at this chapter I think I should have titled this 'Fan Girls at the Fair!' oh well, Enjoy!

Folken at the Fair!

"Excuse me?" said Folken hoping he hadn't heard correctly. "The tunnel of love" Char clarified with a smile. "I spotted it while I was looking for you and decided it would be the best place for us to make up lost time" she said with a wink as she led Folken to the ride. "But what about my orders…" Folken began but was cut off by Char "There is no getting out of this one mister so you had better just come along quietly, besides, you know you really want to go on the ride with me Folkie" gives puppy eyes. 

With a sigh, Folken accepts his fate glad that his brother and the others most likely wouldn't see him. "At least it will be dark" he thinks as Char leads him away. They pass by the bumper car arena which has turned to chaos as a group of spectators watch a large ball of dust from which can be heard the wild cries of two very angry girls.

"Diva!! Get out of there! You're making a scene!" Omi yelled but her calls went unheeded "Well if you're not going to stop the fight then knock her head off!! You know I can't stand Hitomi!!! Show her who is boss!!" Omi began to cheer her friend on. 

Van had regained consciousness and was debating whether or not he should help Hitomi out. "Umm…I had better let Hitomi fight her own battle…" He thought as the cat fight intensified. "Yes! Beat Hitomi!" Called Merle who was thinking of all her possibilities with Van with Hitomi out of the way. 

Voices could be heard from the dust. "This is for ruining all of Dilly's brilliant plans!!!" "Brilliant! The boy is insane! Besides, It's not my fault Van can kick his butt!" "Take that back!!! Van's a flyweight!" "What does that make Dilandau then?" and so on. 

After a few more minutes of battle and cursing, the cat fight was over. All spectators looked on as the dust settled to see who had been victorious. Hitomi lay sprawled on the ground and Diva could be seen dusting herself off. "That's for touching MY Dilandau" she said giving Hitomi a final kick. Diva then turned to face Dilandau. "Here it comes" Omi said with a sigh as she covered her ears. 

Diva took a deep breath and charged. "DDDIIILLLYYY-SSSAAAMMMAAA!!!" she yelled as she ran. Dilandau, who had been standing in a corner tending to his face, let out a yelp and turned to run in the opposite direction only to find to his horror that there was no way out. And then Diva was upon him "Dilly! Did she hurt you? I made her pay! Do you need me to kiss it and make it better?" she said as fast as she could, not realizing that maybe he would have answered if he hadn't been in her deadly 'Glomp of Doom'.

At length she eased up on her death grip and Dilandau was able to breathe. "Get off of me you fucking psycho!" the albino yelled as pushed the fan girl almost knocking her to the ground. "What?" Diva asked in a monotone voice. "Uh-oh" Omi muttered as she began to usher Van, Merle, and Hitomi out of the bumper car arena. Once the area was cleared she turned back to take a last look at Dilandau who was snarling a string of curses at Diva, completely oblivious to the danger he was in. "Hell hath no fury like a Diva scorned, its been nice knowing you…or watching you Dilandau" with that Omi exited.

"I fight for you and possibly save your face and all you can do is curse at me…" Diva began as she cracked her knuckles "I don't think that is very nice Dilly and believe me, I would take a lot of crap from you, but I will not tolerate rejection from you!!! You are obviously in need of a lesson in gratitude" with that, Diva growled and jumped her "beloved" bishonen. 

Omi could hear screams coming from behind her but didn't turn around. Whistling she waited out her sisters tantrum and wondered if Dilly would be all right in the end. Omi would never forget the "Legato" incident. A short time later Diva walked out dragging a comatose Dilandau behind her. "I think he learned his lesson" she stated to Omi who nodded.

The two began to walk in no particular direction. "I don't see how you can beat him and then say you love him" Omi stated. Diva stared at her sister before answering "Well it's _tough _love, right Dilly?" Dilandau mumbled something and Diva gave him a hug before continuing. "Wait!" Omi stopped suddenly "Diva, where is Allen? I want Allen to be here!" Omi whined "Why?" Diva asked with a look of disgust on her face. "Because I like him" Omi said happily "And you're proud of that?" Diva asked "Yes!!"

Just then a blond playboy along with a hippie and a dim bulb…wait….Just then Allen, Dryden, and Millerna approached the group. "What luck!" Omi exclaimed as she ran to the trio, punched Millerna (effectively knocking her out of both consciousness and this fic), and said "Ally! Dryden! Now you guys can come with me to the…tunnel of love!". The two men found themselves being dragged to their new destination. 

"Sounds good to me! Come on Dilly!" she said as she dragged Dilandau, who had regained his senses, after her. The group passed by Chesta who stifled a laugh seeing Dilandau and was picked up by Omi. Omi eventually picked up all the slayer and arrived at the ToL. "I don't know how she can like all of those guys Dilly, I guess it is because it would take all of them to make one you" Diva said with a purr as she rubbed against Dilandau's arm. Dilandau, fearing for his life, wisely allowed her to do so.

Diva looked up to see two familiar faces in line. "Charlotte! Folken!" she shouted with a wave. Char spotted her and the two walked over. "It's good to see you, how have you been?" Diva asked "Great, especially with Folken" Char answered. Omi looked at the two growing angry at being ignored. "What about me?" She asked "What about you?" Diva began as she looked into Dilandau's eyes. Snapping out of her revere she introduced her sister "Char this is my sister Omi, Omi this is Charlotte" 

"The Charlotte who was mean to my Ally" she asked as she clutched Allen defensively. "Forget about her" Diva whispered to Char "She thinks that she likes that playboy" "At least I don't like an albino freak" Omi shouted. The two would have fought but they found that they were now next in line, ah the magic of fan fics. "I'm sorry but there are only two to a ride" the ride director said to Omi who was trying to shove all the DS along with Allen and Dryden into a boat.

"NO!" Omi said with a look of horror on her face. "We all knew this day would come…choose!" Diva said with an evil laugh. "Looking at all of her bishonen Omi sighed and choose. "Allen, I love your good looks…but Chesta is just so cute!" she said as she 'Super Chibi Glommed' the unfortunate boy and dragged him into the waiting boat.

Folken was forced to look away as Chesta gave him a 'help me' face and disappeared into the darkness. Looking to his side he saw Diva latched onto a very uncomfortable looking Dilandau. "What are you staring at Stratego?" Dilandau asked, trying to sound arrogant. Folken gave a chuckle as Diva pulled her prize into the next available boat. "Have fun Dilandau" Folken called as the two disappeared into the rides interior. "Looks like we're up Folkie!" Char said merrily as she and Folken boarded their craft.

I figured I would stop here and make it a cliffhanger. Next time: What dastardly deeds will our fan girls perform in the dark recesses of the ToL? Will Folken, Dilandau, and Chesta make it out in one piece? Muahahahahaha! Not if I have anything to do with it! Until next time!


End file.
